First post of 2012 (aren't you excited?!?)

Admittedly, my blog posts have been seriously lacking. Bummer. I have such grand plans and I really enjoy writing, but alas... the time gets away from me. This school year, for whatever reason (and there are many!), has been kicking my butt! New school, new coworkers, new routines, new curriculum, new parents, new community, etc. So, the blogging has taken a back seat. Until now, that is. Reading one of my favorite teaching blogs, Clutter-Free Classroom, I came upon a challenge... de-clutter your classroom! I'm in. Week one is to photograph your classroom, a la "before" pictures. Here we go... (oh, and here is the link to the web site)

Bulletin boards behind my desk, where I stick important dates, etc.

Two computers, reading posters, bookcase ready to be assembled.

Not looking too bad, but not how I'd like it.

Ugh. The closet. All those shelves are handy, but aren't organized.

Looks decent, but could use some labels on those drawers.

Area behind my desk, not too bad, but lots of stacks.

Counter...

And, there it is. I'm assuming later there will be "after" pics. Hopefully I'll be able to stick with it. I'm a little nervous that I'll fall behind her schedule, but I'm ready to give it a shot. Imagine how neat and organized I'll be!

Completely Random...

Everyone says this, but really? April? That's the last time I wrote anything? Well, tonight I have extremely random stuff. Nothing really important. But, nonetheless, here's what's on my mind tonight:.

*I really don't get how Shazam works. I mean, how does it know all those songs? I even try and trick it to see if it knows basic songs. My latest "find" is "Lost in My Mind" by The Head And The Heart. Really good app when I remember to use it.

*How do all these people on Bachelor/Bachelorette know each other? Once you're on, it must just be some big major party all the time. Yes, watching right now.

*I went bowling today. Honestly don't know how it happened, but I got four strikes and three spares in one game. What the heck?!

*Saw the Blue Angels last Friday. It didn't work out exactly like we were hoping, but we saw a good portion of the show. Loud, fast, close, American. Loved it. Plans for next year have already been discussed.

*Had lots of fun playing softball last night. My team has some good peeps on it.

*Bought a Groupon to Hot Yoga with my sister. Never done it. My little sister did it earlier this summer, she liked it, so we'll see...

*School starts Aug. 31st.

*Going to Spider Lake in MI next week. Big vacation of the summer. Looking forward to relaxing, lounging, reading, swimming, and hanging out with James.

*I read a book called Room... couldn't put it down. Not totally sure what my final verdict is, but you should check it out.

*I wish I could tell you that I did something awesome this summer, like jumping out of an airplane or learning to juggle or went swimming with sharks or ran a marathon or SOMETHING! But, I got nothin'.

*This summer went by really fast. Screamed by. And the crummy weather certainly didn't help.

*My heart hurts for the Navy SEALs.

*Shawn Palmer, praying for you and your comrades in Afghanistan. Hurry home, brother. We're loving on Cheri for you.

*I've spent a lot of time this summer with a 7 year old and an 11 year old. It's been fantastic.

*Umm, I love laughing. Had a GREAT laughing fit with my sister and two others today... all through email :)

*I'm back in physical therapy... hopefully progress is made. (for my neck/shoulders, in case you're wondering).

*Anyone else look for grammar mistakes on reader boards and menus? No? Try it. It's fun.

*I went to church on Sunday after having missed for 2-3 weeks. Good songs with a good singer. Good message, too.

*In July I went on a short trip to Florida. Saw some beautiful sunsets. Sang Neil Diamond with my dad. I miss my dad.

*We rented a rowboat and rowed (paddled, actually) through the Arboretum. Saw the eagle on the drive back to Kirkland. Turned out it was a couple of days before he was hit :(

*The newspaper, coffee, early morning, and the two cats is still one of my simple pleasures.

Told ya this would be pretty uninteresting :) Just wanted to get back into the swing of things. Hope your summer has been good. I've enjoyed the warm days/nights (when we've had them!) with James, the boys, my family, and friends.

Talk to you again soon.

Life, so far...

41. Forty-one years old. Born in 1970. Wow.

So, in honor of, well... me, here's a list of what I've learned thus far in my life. In no particular order, mind you.

1. It's a good idea to have multiple pairs of sunglasses. Especially living here. You never know when the sun will poke its head out, and when it does, it can be blinding. You'll want the shades.

2. Beverly Hills, 90210 was a really good show. The old one. Not the current one. Wait - is the current one even still on?? And if so, why?

3. Pets are awesome. And necessary.

4. The smell of freshly mowed grass is good for the soul.

5. Giving compliments can make you feel good. Especially when given to strangers.

6. Receiving compliments ain't too bad either...

7. Reading is one of the best gifts God gave us.

8. Wine, too. :)

9. Having friends who love you and accept you for who you are is priceless.

10. There is nothing like the crack of a bat in spring. Well, except for the slap of a hockey puck in the fall for some people.

11. Owning a good, favorite pair of jeans is a must for everyone!

12. You should treat yourself to a massage every now and then. Massage = bliss.

13. Gossip really IS painful. At any age, it turns out.

14. Finding someone you can laugh with is of utmost importance.

15. Shockingly, we do turn into our parents. I can't believe some of the words/phrases that come out of my mouth when addressing my students. Ack!

16. Manners count.

17. I Want You Back is a really, really good song. I mean, obviously. Duh.

18. When you get a manicure with freshly painted pink fingernails, and two girls in your class come to school the next day with their own freshly painted pink fingernails... well, that's pretty cool.

19. Saying, "I'm sorry," can be life-saving. Or at least relationship-saving.

20. When all else fails, go shopping.

21. Learning to stick up for yourself is liberating.

22. Church is a good thing. Especially when I think about all the friends I've made at mine.

23. Keeping on top of your finances is a smart idea. Even though paying bills is a joy-sucker, it sure feels good when you're done.

24. If you're sick, stay home from work. And school.

25. On the couch, snuggled up, with a blanket and your favorite person, while it's pouring down rain outside, is a great way to spend a lazy afternoon.

26. Growing up in a smallish town and working in that same small town is kind of cool!

27. Sun-block and a good moisturizer really do make a difference.

28. When you keep the change that was mistakenly given back to you, well, that's wrong.

29. Sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered.

30. But after #29, make sure to sing really loudly to your favorite song. And for that, see #17.

31. You CAN make it through whatever hardship you're enduring. Trust me.

32. It's ok to say "I love you". Do it often. But mean it when you do.

33. Edamame at Red Hook, on the deck, when the sun is shining, with a cold beer, may just in fact be a little slice of heaven.

34. Take care of your knees. And your back.

35. Learn your parents' stories. They really were pretty cool people before they had us!

36. If I want my car to last, I need to stay on top of the maintenance and change the oil regularly.

37. Be nice.

38. Riding bikes while wearing thongs (flip-flops now, I know!) can be dangerous. Lesson learned.

39. Before turning on the sprinkler, you might want to check and make sure that all the windows are closed. Just sayin'.

40. We're never done learning and growing - how cool is that?

41. And finally... love really is all you need.

There you have it. Print this out and put it on your fridge. I've now solved all your problems. You're welcome!

Another side of the story...

I'm surrounded by kids every day. From 9:10 to 3:35, 26 students come to me and rely on me for multiple things.

Every other Sunday I serve in the 9-12 month baby room at my church. For about an hour and a half, I hold babies, play with them, rock them, sometimes feed them, occasionally change them.

I have a niece and a nephew. I'm close to them. I've been fortunate to be in their lives since they were born; I was present at both of their births.

Most of my friends have children, ranging from one year olds to college age.

I see children everywhere. Parks, grocery stores, sidewalks, malls, etc.

Skipping rocks, chasing dogs, eating ice-cream, having meltdowns, holding their mommy or daddy's hands.

And my heart aches.

Being childless is an interesting position.

People think I'm young enough and have plenty of time. Or that I don't want kids of my own. Or that when I'm married I'll have a child. Or that I'm "lucky" I have so much free time. Or that it's nice because I can be around my friends' kids and then go back home when I've had enough.

When offering an opinion about managing children or setting boundaries or giving consequences or working with children on homework or any number of other things, I've been asked, "Do you have children?" And when the answer is no, I can see the shift in the eyes, the raised eyebrows, the slight dismissal, the expression and tone of voice that says, "Ohhh. Then you don't really know what you're talking about."

When I was growing up and in high school, I wanted to be the mom that goes to all the sporting events, that volunteers in the school, that drives kids around, that had the house that my children's friends hung out in.

I knew I had fertility issues, that getting pregnant wasn't going to be easy. When I was married, I tried three times to get pregnant with fertility drugs, giving myself daily shots and going to many, many dr. appointments. No dice. It was a bad marriage, I was divorced before my fourth wedding anniversary, so it's probably best that I didn't get pregnant.

You can adopt. You have time. You can go to a sperm donor.

Umm.... it's not that easy.

I'm almost 42. Old in baby terms. Too many medical issues that can occur, for both the baby and me. Plus there's the whole fertility thing. Time and money.

Adoption on my own? Not what I want. I wanted to have a child with a man who loves me, to raise a child together. To be mommy and daddy.

Things change as time moves on. Priorities shift.

I am with a man I've been in love with for over three years. I admire him, respect him, laugh with him, lean on him, have a life with him. We enjoy many things together. He has two sons, and I've gotten to know them over the past couple of years. I get to be around them in the summer and the three of us are building our own relationship. It's good.

My relationship with James is fulfilling, joyful, solid. The two of us will continue to build our lives together and experience many things together. The good and the bad. I would not trade it for anything. I'm thankful for it every day. Our lives are rich. We are blessed.

Yet, there remains a little sadness.

I miss the idea of working on homework with my son. Of putting pigtails in my daughter's hair. Of going to school recitals. Of wiping tears. Of hearing first words. Of knowing a kid has my eyes or laugh or sarcasm or sensitivity. Of sharing books together.

I'd like the chance to screw up my own kid :)

I'd like to know that I've influenced a child, that I've given him a foundation, values to build on.

So, if I get quiet, or excuse myself from a conversation about the best way to deal with tantrums, or tear up during baby dedications at church, or get tired of baby showers, or have just the tiniest bit of resentment toward people and their pregnancies, forgive me. It'll pass.

Know that I'm good. Know that I have a love for life. Know that I'm regaining the happiness in my life. Know that I'm in a good place. Know that I'm surrounded by friends and family who I love, and who love me. Know that I laugh daily (or pretty close!).

Also know that being childless can hurt and we don't always know the back story.

Love you. xo

(for some reason, I like this picture!)

Wondering....

Why is it that when those in the education field talk about pay or stipends, the response from the public is either, "Well, you knew what you were getting into when you signed up for this gig," or something along the lines of teaching children is what should matter, not the paycheck?

Do teachers not have to pay mortgage? Do they not have to pay doctor's bills and insurance? Do they not have to buy groceries and pay for car repairs?

Teachers have to make it in this economy just like everyone else. It seems, though, that if the "compensation" word comes up (or any word associated with it), we're all of a sudden money-hungry, vacation-loving, work only six-hours-a-day people.

Honestly. Give me a break.

Ok, I'm done now. Back to the morning paper and my cup of coffee.

Happy Valentine's Day to you :)

Mama always said there'd be days like these

Awake at 1:30 am.

Still awake at 2:30 am.

Turned on the light to read until 3:00 am.

Mind racing with "stuff".

Prayed and pleaded for two more hours of sleep.

Coffee at 5:30 am.

Mesopotamia projects to grade. Explorer projects to grade.

Science test to prepare for. Two social studies tests to prepare for. Math test to prepare for.

Big (big) biography reports to be completed (two different ones).

Novel to finish (Fever 1793 - it's good - kids and I really like it!).

Five meetings in the next week.

Emails to send and reply to. Physical therapy to get to. Phone calls to make.

I'm tired already.

And in the midst of all this? A birthday dinner for my mom. American Idol on tv. Yay!

And coffee. God bless the coffee!

This Book

Have you seen/heard about/or read this book?

I noticed it on a few students' desks in my classroom. When I asked about it, they told me it's about kids being put into a big arena and fighting to the death to save their families. Ugh, is what I thought.

Then I saw an article in a magazine about it. Interest piqued. I spied it in our book room at school. I found out Lisa and Jay were reading it. So I started.

I seriously could not put it down. I had to finish it.

Last Tuesday I told my students I had read the book over the weekend. Many more were interested. I emphatically suggested (over and over) that they ask their parents if they could read it before they started. Cuz, you know, there is some violence in there. And the whole premise is about survival. About being the last one standing, when all the other children in the book have been killed.

Several students asked for the copy I had, but the aide in my room, Mrs. G., read it first. Overnight. She couldn't put it down either. On Wednesday, two students in my room had a copy. On Thursday, two more. And on Friday, one more.

It's the new craze in room C204. It reminds me of another series that was wildly popular.... and then I found this picture:

I read the second book in the series over this past weekend. I'm anxiously awaiting the third book... (go, Lisa, hurry up and finish it!).

Happy reading!